THE END

...no more highschool...

all the CCS drama...not my problem anymore.

all the cynical attitudes...i don't have to fight anymore.

all the passionless fakes...i'm not surrounded by anymore.

but,

all the amazing teachers i've loved...i don't get to learn from anymore.

all the theater...i'm not a part of anymore.

all the people...i don't get to love on anymore.


will they remember me...probably not...
...the question is is Christ more evident to them because of me.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
~ attributed to Mark Twain, unconfirmed

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant."
~ Robert Louis Stevenson

"During my second year of nursing school our professor gave us a quiz. I breezed through the questions until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was a joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper leaving the last question blank. Before the class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our grade. "Absolutely," the professor said. In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve you attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy."
~Joann C. Jones

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine."
~ Anthony J. D'Angelo

"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee."
~Marian Wright Edelman

God's Presence

So it's been a while and I'm not sure if anyone reads this anymore?

So these past few weeks God has been moving in amazing ways in Waterline (my youth group)...we have had so many people coming to know Christ, getting baptized, and plugged in...God's presence has become a reality to so many who have never experienced it. Even those who have been around for a long time (like me) have felt a refreshing move of God.

We are getting back to a basic many had forgotten...in God's presence is where we are changed...worship isn't about the song...i love it when Jeremy and the band just stops playing. It's a reminder that worship is also found in solitude.

Last night was incredible...P. Ben had asked P. Drew to share and he had a message planned but God had a different plan. Worship began and about halfway into the first song, Jeremy broke down to his knees, tears streaming. Then as the rest of the band continued to play and Matt led, Jeremy set down his guitar and laid out before God, weeping. Soon God's presence was so thick throughout the room. The rest of the night was spent in God's presence. Times alone just worshipping our God whether through song or solitude, times spent praying & weeping with one another, crying out on one another's behalf.

I love it when God removes a schedule and completely takes control...and i love Jeremy, he's like my big brother...i respect his sensitivity to God's Spirit so much. As I watched him laying there weeping I knew where his heart was and what his mind was burdened with and I stood nearby weeping with him. I can't really say much else but that God's timing is perfect and that many needed to be reminded that our God is big and there is nothing he cannot do.

the way i heard some decribe it was that it seemed God's Spirit was so thick it felt like a blanket was covering everyone in the room.

thank you Father

thank you for sending your Spirit to encourage and strengthen

:: You are amazing::

the randomness all happening ...

My heart is torn...

Lee University =
new adventures...
new opportunities...
new people...

Waterline =
the place where my amazing journey with God began and grew...
incredible friendships...
my heart...

the idea of leaving is beginning to set in...i don't want to leave, it will break my heart...
exctiting? yes, while I was visiting Lee I could picture myself there and yes it was exciting
scary? the idea of leaving TCA creates paranoia in my soul...this is my home, these are my best friends who I have lived life with for the past 9 years...

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Spiritual Life Emphasis Week

Hopefully you CCSers constantly pray for the spiritual life of our school and for chapels etc. and I ask that throughout this week you spend extra time in focused prayer asking God to show up because without His presence it will be nothing...nothing lasting anyway. His presence is where we are changed. Not simply for a week but for a lifetime.
I've been asking myself "What makes this week different?" And I've come to the conclusion that the main reason is because this week, people will come into chapel expecting...expecting God to do something in their life. If everyone entered chapel like that every week, guess what? God would honor our faith and show up every week. He's just waiting for us to be ready and to ask. Anyway, come expecting because if you expect and desire God to move in your life, He will...

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This is also Mr. Marshall's last week...wow...i love just talking with him. I have a great respect and love for him. He will be one of the main things that people will remember about CCS. Again i say wow...this is so hard for my class...yet i find myself thinking of the dilemma he must have been in having to make the decision. This is a bittersweet goodbye. No doubt he will be missed and that Friday is a dreaded day.

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So these are simply a few...nothing deeply profound, but hey =)

Good night...

...restore...

...restore my passion...
...restore my strength...
...restore my true desire for more...
...restore my self-esteem...
...restore my faith...
...restore my sensitivity to your Spirit...
...restore my burning and weeping heart for those around me...

...restore our relationship...but that is up to me...i'm sorry Lord. I've lost my focus...

::no turning back::

I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus
No turning back
No turning back

Though none go with me, still I will follow
Though none go with me, still I will follow
Though none go with me, still I will follow
No turning back
No turning back

...simple & old, yet beautiful in its purest sense.

as I sat there in silence, this song was being sung as a young girl turned to me with tears in her eyes and said "I want to go down". I replied, "I'm coming with you." And as I sat there telling her that she was made perfect in God's eyes, His beautiful princess, I knew that those words were new to her. And as i told her that it didn't matter what she had done, He still loves her more than she could ever know, she slightly nodded her head and another tear rolled down her cheek.

The road will be long and hard, but someone else started their journey and I was blessed to see another miracle happen right before my eyes.

i give Him all the glory.

::random thoughts::

here's just a few random thoughts i put on my xanga...

God is good, always...

when life seems unfair and confusion reigns, He is still good...

if all that He ever did for me was die so I could live, that would be enough to praise Him 24/7 for the rest of my life...

sometimes I love just simple practicality...

i often find myself needing to return to the basics...

everyone wants to be loved and many will do whatever it takes to remove any feeling of rejection, even if it hurts them more in the end...

sincere love opens doors that once seemed impossible to open...

crying can be good...

trust is growing scarce...

God built us to live in a community...

no one can make it alone...

find the good in everything...even though sometimes it make take a deep, long search to find it...

pretty much everything in life holds an opportunity to be used by God...

...God is amazing...

*just a few random thoughts*

~ Goodnight ~

2006 baby!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

wow, i graduate on June 4 of THIS year...on June 2 I turn 18...2006 is here.

oh how the time flies.

just want to say this year has been amazing. i'm blessed to have spent it surrounded by such amazing people everyday. can't wait for more fun, memories, and just living & learning together.

thanks Dad for this year...