He's so good...

so my lunch today entailed:

talking to my dad about calling off work

calling my employer to tell her I can't work today and tomorrow

...and all the while crying my eyes out...(which I haven't done in a while)

*stress* is an evil.

but He is faithful...

my nice manager (who is a Christian) was the one who I got put through to and she could tell I was upset...she said don't worry about it because I've never called off like this before and she said she would take care of everything for me...

one thing off...

I called my friend and he prayed for me, which always makes me feel better

little bit more off...

couple of people at school saw it in my face and came to give me a hug

little bit more off...

...no doubt, I'm still pretty stressed, (most teachers are on the "I must get in my tests, projects and mass HW assignments in before missions trip" mode) but I'm trying to rest in the fact that my Jesus will take care of me if I trust Him...He always has.

overwhelmed...

i feel so overwhelmed...i'm supposed to work tonight and tomorrow night, but i really REALLY need to call off...if you read this, please pray that I have great favor with my bosses...i have so much work to do...there's is no way I will get it all done without a miracle...

thanks for your prayers.

She came!

So that girl at my work...she came!
Last night I picked her up at 5pm from work, bought her dinner, and she came with me to Waterline. You never know how someone will react.
I love my youth group so much! I'm never afraid to bring someone there because I know that they will be treated as an honored guest. Anyone who comes is automatically part of our family, without consideration of looks or characteristics. They're really great at making people feel welcome and loved.

so at 6:15 the leaders and anyone there just start praying...praying hard and passionately...so i told Rachel what would happen before it did. She seemed totally cool with it and stood in the back of the room and observed. There is no way you can come and not realize that God is someone real to us. Then I'm in charge of the "welcome center" where all the guests come back and eat a piece of pizza & drink pop while i explain a couple things that go on around waterline (basically worship and small groups). During worship, she stood and observed. What did she observe? Atleast 75 students passionately praising their God. Not caring what others think, but experiencing the true and real presence of God.

another cool thing is that we found out she graduated from Winton Woods with one of the guys attending Waterline. Josh got saved about a year and a half ago, and DRASTIC change has taken place in his life. He used to be bitter and just plain mean to anyone around him. Later she told me "that's not the Josh i knew in highschool...I hated the josh that i knew...he was always mean to me..."
pretty cool
so after everything she thanked me for bringing her and said she would love to come back...

let that sink in....

without me saying anything, the first thing out of her mouth was "Thanks so much for bringing me"

people are looking for something...sometimes they just don't know where to look...

if I was someone living a miserable life and going to hell, i guess I would thank someone who introduced me to people who've found life and took me to a place where I might be able to find that life...

P. Marshall, my youth pastor's sermon last night was about "Bringing the Kingdom"
...it reminded me of you.

...i saw her smile...

that girl that has cried every day...

i gave her flowers...
i sent it with a psalm...
i was anonymous...
i saw her smile again...
i love the little things...

...being His voice.

it's so fun catching people off guard...there is this girl at work who I've been trying to get to know. Recently I've been slipping in a "you should check out my youth group with me some Wed. night"...well tonight as I was getting ready to leave work, I asked her if she had to work this wednesday night and she said no...so I said "you should come with me then =)"

Girl: (laugh)...I should...I should start talking to God...he needs to help me...mentally hehe...
Me: you mean help you find a guy haha...
Girl: Nu-uh!

SO I got her cell # and told her I would call her tomorrow to see if she could still come...
As we're walking out to leave good ol' K-mart (lol) She says (still somewhat jokingly):

Girl: "You should pray for me"
Me: (pause)...I do.
Girl: (a little silence & then less jokingly) ...you do?
Me: yep =)

So I said "goodbye" and "I'll call you"....

...maybe not this week...who knows...but it's a start...

so if you read this, join me in praying for her...her name is Rachel...
...and pray for me.

I love being His hands...His feet...His voice to a hurting world.

...it's here...

Tomorrow I begin receiving the fruit of something I have put my heart into since school started. I dread the night when I step off the stage for the last time...
...the play is here...
...senior year is here...
*sigh*

love always,
Rochelle

...helpless...

Excerpt from "You Know Where to Find Me" by Matthew West

I saw your sky fall down today
Suddenly turn from blue to grey
Till one by one the raindrops
Turned to tears upon your face
Wish there was something I could do
Wish I could ease the pain for you
But I’ve never felt so helpless
It’s like you’re drowning right in front of me
And I’m reaching out but you can’t see
There’s something holding on to you so tight...

This is exactly how I'm feeling...helpless...yeah I know "all you can do sometimes is just be there to love on them and pray for them" and yes I know it's pretty true but still...I feel so....helpless...this song verse came on while I was driving home and tears began rolling down my face...because at this moment in time, the "I" in that verse is me and the "you" is so many of the people around me...and I feel helpless...

I'm sorry...

Apologies are important...it's amazing what can happen when I get over my stupid pride and ask for forgiveness and even admit that I'm wrong...Even the little things.

Like today, someone said something to me and they were honestly trying to be helpful and I totally blew them off and gave them the "I think you are totally stupid" look...after-the-fact I realized how mean I had been and I went and apologized...not some big fancy 'oh please forgive me because I did something horrible.' Just a simple "I'm so sorry for that look i gave you a minute ago. Thanks so much for trying to help."
That person seemed surprised, which kind of made me sad...shouldn't I be known as humble, I mean I shouldn't do something wrong in the first place but how many times do I forget to make something right, or (probably closer to the truth) CHOOSE not to...

that was just a simple example I know, but there have been so many other bigger situations where an apology on my part was all that was necessary.

That is one thing I admire about my dad. When we fight or disagree and he later realizes he was wrong in what he said or even did, he almost always comes to me with tears in his eyes and tells me that he is sorry...that has to take guts! To go to your teenage daughter and let her know that you realized you were wrong and she was right? Things like that are what I will never forget about him and that I want to make sure I do when I'm a parent...

I'm such a daddy's girl...