Tuesday, November 29, 2005

the long-awaited verse 5 + 6, 7, & 8

NIV

5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and
6 my God.
My [c] soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

The Message

5Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
Why are you crying the blues?
Fix my eyes on God--
soon I'll be praising again.
He puts a smile on my face.
He's my God.

6 When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse
everything I know of you,
From Jordan depths to Hermon heights,
including Mount Mizar.

7 Chaos calls to chaos,
to the tune of whitewater rapids.
Your breaking surf, your thundering breakers
crash and crush me.

8 Then GOD promises to love me all day,
sing songs all through the night!
My life is God's prayer.

When my life is a wreck and my heart is heavy, reading this forces me to remember who God is and all He has done for me. I remember all the times I have been "downcast" & my soul has been "disturbed within me" and I come through it and can praise again. There is always a hope at the end of the tunnel. No matter what happens, there is always an end and "He puts a smile on my face. He's my God." That's just what he does, as long as I stay faithful. When I'm depressed, this Psalm forces me to count my blessings...to remember all the times he has been faithful. For the Israelites, God was faithful in helping them leave Egypt, conquer the Promise Land, and stand against their enemies. Everywhere they went, they had the Lord's promise of faithfulness, even in the rough times. I love the poetry in verse seven...being covered and swept over by his Spirit...seeing his amazing creation.
Through the day, his love is my hope & joy. When true love is hard to find and superficial pleasure is sought by many around you, the fact that I am his daughter and His love remains steadfast is my comfort and lessens the sense of loneliness which can be created.

"By day the Lords directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life." I sing 24/7...songs to Him is what I love to sing the most...some of my favorite prayers are those that I can sing...

the Message seems to take a different spin...

"Then GOD promises to love me all day, sing songs all through the night!
My life is God's prayer."

the thought that He sings about me...that as I sing & praise Him, he is constantly singing his love over me...that is amazing...
"My life is God's prayer." God's cry is my life...he longs for me to serve him, to love him, to have my all....

interesting...i wonder what interpretation was actually meant here...maybe neither of those...
what do you think? or what do you know? any scholars out there to shed some light? =)

Monday, November 21, 2005

sick

man I feel even worse today...

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Verse 4

(NIV)
4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

(The Message)
4These are the things I go over and over,
emptying out the pockets of my life.
I was always at the head of the worshiping crowd,
right out in front,
Leading them all,
eager to arrive and worship,
Shouting praises, singing thanksgiving--
celebrating, all of us, God's feast!

Once again I love the Message here, but I give you the NIV because I try not to only read liberal translations but I tend to read the same passage in different types....just me.

I tend to be a very involved person, and I love it. I love doing what I love...which is a lot of different things. I love to worship and tend not to care what others think of me (though that isn't always true). But, believe it or not, there are times when I'm not eager to worship...I don't feel like actually putting in the effort and concentration to truly connect with God, I keep it superficial. I'll "worship" but with no depth...sing, but not get lost in the presence of God. Sometimes it seems to take a focus I can't give. Sometimes the strong grow weak. David was a worshipper, he led the procession when the Ark of the Covenant was brought back to Jerusalem (2 Samuel 6) with DANCING and massive rejoicing...I can just imagine him writing this verse while thinking about that day...and here he is now, filled with discouragement & ashamed that he is no longer there. Desert times are hard. Man, can I relate.

but then comes verse 5...

*to be continued*

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

My Psalm

So I decided I that I would share with you a piece of me...Psalm 42 is "my Psalm" lol...yes it's everyone's but this is the one that I read over and over, in the really discouraging times and in the good...I'm not going to do it all at once, so here is the first 3 verses in two different translations...

(NIV)
1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
3 My tears have been my food day and night,
while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"


(The Message)
1 A white-tailed deer drinks from the creek;
I want to drink God,
deep draughts of God.
2 I'm thirsty for God--alive.
I wonder, "Will I ever make it--
arrive and drink in God's presence?"
3 I'm on a diet of tears--
tears for breakfast, tears for supper.
All day long
people knock at my door,
Pestering,
"Where is this God of yours?"

There is an older song which is somewhat based off this scripture "As the Deer"...you know how certain songs can cause your eyes to water every time you hear it? That is one of them for me....
A modern worship song? One of my favorites, we sang today in chapel:

Oh I want more of you,
Living Water rain down on me.
Oh I need more of you,
Living Breath of Life come and fill me up.

We are hungry,
We are hungry,
We are hungry for more of you.
We are thirtsy, Oh Jesus,
We are thirsty for more of you.

No it doesn't come directly from it, and there might be another Psalm it fits more directly, but it has the same main idea as these first verses. I love the Message here: "I want to drink God, deep draughts of God. I'm thirsty for God--alive."

sometimes we lose that desire...we sing that he is the air we breathe & our daily bread but hardly ever experience that desperate cry in our everyday life... I have learned to constantly ask God to take my world apart, which is a dangerous request. Sometimes it means he removes everything familiar in your life and breaks you before Him. It is very dangerous to be on the point where you lose the constant need for more of God. As you mature in your faith, it becomes much harder...you find yourself growing comfortable more often. There are not as many people to push you, you heard it all before...but if we spent every moment of every day with Him, would He ever run out of wonder & mystery?

This reminds me to ask Him to break me & make me need Him more...

When I am having a really rough time, I feel as David writes in verse 3...those few times when i cry on my pillow in the stillness of my room...

*...to be continued...*

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

pearls

WARNING: long post ahead hehe

so we had the big outreach down in Winton Hills this past Sunday and is was awesome! We passed out 300 Thanksgiving meals to families who can't really afford to buy a nice dinner. We had a service and like 400-500 people showed up....it was pretty sweet.

background info: a while ago my church started this group called "Church without Walls"...anyone can help out...basicall what they do is get out of the church to do something for the community, they have fed dinner to all the firehouses in Fairfield, hosted a dinner for the families of soldiers in Iraq, and worked different shelters/homes all around Greater Cincinnati.
One specific place in Winton Hills, specifically the apartments called Winton Terrace. Our church has kind of adopted this community. We have done several things like have big parties, pass out school supplies, have a grocery give-away, and most recently these thanksgiving meals. This was the first time we actually had a type of service.
We needed a place to have it, so we offered to rent the elementary public school building....the answer started out as "that's out of the questiong, especially for religious purposes"...then God worked and it became "you can use it for free, we'll even pay the extra money for the janitorial staff, etc." *God still works miracles.*

I love kids...so before it started I just walked around and played with kids. "My girls" were all so precious. One little girl in particular moved my heart...she was 3yrs. old and after a few seconds she was my buddy and clung to me. I had on a pearl bracelet and I noticed her eyeing it. So I took it off and gave it to her to play with. She examined it and played with it for a little bit and then noticed it was stretchy! so doing what all little kids do, she began to pull it and stretch it until....
oops.
yeah, the pearls all fall, rolling on the floor...
in that instant, was a choice...let the ruination of a $1.50 bracelet destroy my witness, or shrug it off realizing the unimportance of it to the kingdom..
(ok so I dramatized that a little lol)
so I decided to make it a game....who can pick them up the fastest!
of course I let her get all but a few....
she cradled this handful of pearls in her hand like it was a buried treasure she had spent her little life searching for...she looked up at me with mischevious glance...
"Yes, you can keep them"
then I saw the biggest smile appear...her mom carefully helped her zip them in her coat pocket, safe and sound...

after worship I went and sat down on the floor in front of her (she was sitting on her mom's lap)...all of sudden she jumps down and plops on my legs *smile*

I pulled my hair around and she caressed in her hands and "brushed" it, giggling...

then she saw my necklace...it was one of my homecoming necklaces...so I took it off for her to see....she stared at it in her hands and held it to her neck and said "on! *smile*"

as I was getting ready to leave, she looked at me and pointed to the necklace....
"You can have it"

She smiled.

I got to pray with her mom...she was 23 years old, a single mom with 2 girls & two boys (ages were about: 1, 3, 5, & 7)...wow....

Friday, November 11, 2005

reality

So Pastor Marshall made a good point in chapel on Wednesday...we always say after missions trip and stuff that its now "back to reality" (I'm guilty lol)..,
But shouldn't God be our reality? I mean, I know that getting away from all the distractions and being able to totally focus is somewhat different from the reality we come back to. But shouldn't the presence of God be our constant reality. Shouldn't worship as we have in Memphis be the norm back in Cincy. Maybe it's time for a change of mindset. Maybe instead we should say, it's time to change the reality of life to what it should be. What about the New Testament church? God was their reality, reconciliation was their reality, sharing life together was their reality. My passion is worship. I long to see passionate worshippers come together every week. So I mean everyone has to raise their hands and jump around. not in the least. there is a difference between just standing their and moving your lips or standing still in God's presence spending time connecting with Him. the atmosphere changes when people connect with God, not raise their hands. the God's presence will saturate any place (cincy or memphis) but only if we invite Him. So my prayer is that God would become our reality. There is no reason why not...

reality
n 1: all of your experiences that determine how things appear to you;
2: the state of being actual or real;
3: the state of the world as it really is rather than as you might want it to be;
4: the quality possessed by something that is real;
(www.dictionary.com)

ok so the last definition is one of those bad ones which uses part of the word in the definition lol but at the same time, in my context, I like it. What we have is real...God is real...His Kingdom is real....shouldn't it be our reality?

UPDATE:
my friend Rachel from work has been to Waterline 3 weeks in a row now...continue to pray for her. I'm believing for God's perfect timing to take place, and when that timing comes pray that I or whoever is there will be ready.

God never ceases to amaze me...

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Home...

...now it's back to the reality of life.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Memphis, here I come

can't believe it's already here!

i can't wait to see all that God is going to do...expect great things...

Ephesians 3:20